I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
