We're like a lot better than the average bears
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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