Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize