i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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