you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
