She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
