Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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