i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
