So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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