my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
What drink are we having for lunch?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize