Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
