Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
