My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
