Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She bit a glass in half.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
