guys are only as good as the porn they watch
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
