Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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