I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
