This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize