dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
