If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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