I'm really into asian looking animals
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
