Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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