Are we in a gay sports bar?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
