I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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