so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
