idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
