when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
