We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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