It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
