i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
we made out on top of his cat.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
