Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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