oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
