What a fucking waste of an outfit
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
farters have to be the big spoon...
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Let's get the cat blown out
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
