I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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