I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
