fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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