Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
