i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize