I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
