If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Randomize