Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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