He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Acid is not a monday night drug
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize