Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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