Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
