dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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