Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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