I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
