is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
