I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
