I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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