hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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