The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
