Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
