i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
