My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize