We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
