i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
