im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
