Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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