one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
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