I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
