If i could tip my vagina, i would.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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