im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
