I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Randomize