We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Randomize
