i just had sex bonerless
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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