My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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