I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Randomize
