Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
