She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
