I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
