I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Terrible idea I love it
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize