We should be called the Road Head Warriors
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
