So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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