I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
