I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
