You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize