Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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