just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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